i just ended my completely stressful, suppose to be bonding day with the girls, with my favorite summertime soup, gazpacho from my garden and homemade limeade. now i am laying in my comfy bed with some wonderful, sticky electrodes attached to my back and a nice current of electrical nerve numbingness going through my back. i am so tired and stressed. this is the last night i have the girls before they go to their dad's for the weekend and the Greek and i welcome a baby into our family. i tried to take the girls on a nice bonding day, but it turned out pooey. we started the day off with trying to go to frankoma pottery on route 66, west of tulsa. we got there and it was closed, their website said they were open, but we got there and it looked abandoned along with broken glass everywhere. no mugs for us this trip. driving back home we did come across some fun mailboxes.
cuteness, huh? well, we took advantage of the Oklahoma tax free weekend after that and bought some clothes and shoes for the girls. then we went to the nail salon and got mani/pedis. sounds like a good morning, well it was, then we got frozen custard. after that things went slightly downhill. we had to go to the shop, which wasn't bad, but the girls ended up watching over an hour of television, which makes them crazy. i think that's where things went wrong. we went and rented a carpet cleaner and went home so we could clean. they were suppose to clean their room so i could clean their carpet while i cleaned a chair in the baby room. juni of course did what she was told right away, then there was bee. did i mention she is headstrong? don't know where she get's that from......:)
long story short, she ended in bed and i put a trash bag of her favorite toys on the front porch. my threats are not idle, but fulfilling them sure hurt me. who wants to upset their child? if she doesn't clean, i take things away. then i cry. i stress over her waking up and asking where her crayons are. i stress over being mad, yelling, not being a good mommy. then i stress over the baby in my belly dealing with the stress i am exuding. i am a mess. i did apologize for yelling. she patted my arm and told me that it was okay, it was alright. my last night with the loves of my life and i go and blow up. i am embarrassed.
my daddy brought me new electrodes, and now being hooked up and lounging in bed i hope that tomorrow can be better. i hope that we can be happy together on our last day as a threesome. 'cause come monday, our worlds will be rocked.
1 comment:
Oh good grief, you are a good mother and don't let yourself ever doubt that. :) juni and bee and #3 are some lucky little girls!
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