Nostalgia....

his voice brings back so many beautiful memories of beautiful summer....

St. Augustine, FL

after florence, we drove through georgia down the coast to jacksonville. my mom and dad then drove us to st. augustine so the girls and i could go to the beach while they browsed around. all three girls have been to each coast now, now we just have to go swimming in the pacific, not feet wading. we had a blast, it was the fourth of july but not too many people out. we set up camp, a blanket and tent, then played in the water till we were the only ones left. beila and june had the best time playing in the waves while popi and i sat on the sand bar in the shallow end and watched fishies. there were many times when i had to walk down the beach and bring the girls back to where we were, the waves take you down the beach. we had the best time together, got tuckered out, took naps, applied sunblock, found a jelly fish, got sand in everything, and had the best 4th of july!

Florence, SC

Florence, South Carolina

my aunt sandie and uncle jose with my 2 bee-ootiful cousins flew in from spain to come visit their nan in florence. so, of course, we had to go visit them on the trip. i love my aunt sandie so much. i only met her when i was 24 or so, when i myself went to spain and forced my presence upon her. she is my mom's half sister, but to me they look a lot a like. i love listening to my aunt sandie talk, talk about my grandpa, moving around, there are so many stories, and of course i love listening to her speak spanish! it is so pretty. my uncle jose and cousins samantha and carla are great too, the girls have always been the pied pipers with my kids, and uncle jose is an accomplished(to me!) athlete. it was a short but wonderful visit, i can't wait for my turn to visit them:)

South of the Border, SC

out in the middle of nowhere south carolina, right when you hop over the north carolina border there is a land of kitschy called south of the border. original, huh? for some reason this land sells mexican and myrtle beach trinkets and odditys. the best part of south of the border is the billion and one concrete statues you can play on. we didn't even scratch the surface of them with our pictures. juniper thought this stop was great and that we were going to take a photo on every single thing. that i told her, would take days and patience i just didn't have. i wish i could find all the photos from past sotb experiences....you could see little sachee(that would be me) grow!

On the Road Again

we've been keeping kinda calm this week trying to get use to the dosing insulin at meals and frequent blood tests, but i couldn't stand it any more, i had to get them out of the house and into the country. so we packed up our picnic basket full of water, salami/basil/cream cheese sandwiches, pbj, bananas, cheese sticks, pickles, and sugar free cookies, and out into the great wide open road. blue hole is a great swimming hole in the middle of nowhere, salina, oklahoma. you go east on highway 20 at the only light in salina, drive 7 miles down a twisty road to a battered sign on the right that says "Blue Hole", and to crystal clear, cold water, full of little fish and crawdads. we did good with the insulin while traveling i think. i am slowly getting over my fear of this disease, i can't let it take over everything we do. so, we did have a great time today, and managed to keep bee's blood sugar under control.

such a lovable bee

a rare smiling photo of june

my lil' rock eater

can't you just feel the coolness running over you sun soaked body?

blue hole!
$10 a car:)

after swimming we stopped by claremore to go to our favorite dairy, swan dairy, to get our grass-fed, hormone-free, non-pasteurized, okie grown whole milk. it is the best and choc full of good for you stuffs. we bought milk and cheese curds to snack on on the ride the my aunts house in verdigris for an afternoon visit.

we love watching the cows get milked! they are happy cows:)

Beila's Bunch

please check out our walk to cure diabetes page and join our team.
this event will be october 15, 2011.

Dr.Jelley's Day 2

have i mentioned how ironic and awesome beila's doctor's name is? dr. jelley. jelly is so yummy and full of sugar, something beila shouldn't have.
today we spent 4 hours learning more about diabetes and our child. another family was there as well and the mom seemed slightly angry and took it out on the nurse some. it was a little embarrassing at times. parks brought bee and we tested her blood, i knew something was wrong when i walked in but the 30-something blood sugar confirmed it. super duper low, hypoglycemic. beila looked as if she were going to pass out. quickly we gave her a juice box and dosed her for breakfast. by lunch she was hyperglycemic and acting nutsies, licking people and bouncing around. we got lunch in her fast, i wanted to laugh, okay, i did laugh, but her body was reacting to all this up and down and it was so visible. we went over so much today and i can't even recall any of it. it was intimidating knowing i was taking bee home with me and i was the one who was going to have to do all of the insulin and math. i made pasta carbonara for dinner with apples and milk. 91g of carbs, 5 units of insulin. the best part of the day is when my mom in law went to my favorite chocolatier, glacier chocolates, and brought bee sugar free chocolate and me a "your doing great" box all for myself. yummy:) well, anywho, so far today i gave beila 3 shots. one in the arm, leg and tooshy. 3 down, thousands more to go.

Too Much Information...

we got a lot of information today.

beila got her finger pricked at dr. jelley's office this morning. her blood sugar at a fast was 164, her A1c 13.3%. not good. after establishing her blood sugar we (marc, parks, and i) got to talk to dr. jelley and he went over her symptoms with us and answered any questions we had, he also confirmed her as diabetic. type 1 diabetes, my little 5 year old is diabetic. big breath.

we then got to go to the kitchen where the nurse fixed bee waffles and sugar free syrup. before she got to eat we had to be taught insulin mathematics and dosages. the nurse gave bee her very first shot of insulin, something her itty bitty body has been missing for who-knows how long, i could imagine her insides giving a big sigh of relief for that shot. she took it so good. the nurse stuck the small short needle in the back of her skinny arm and counted to ten and let go. how does a mama keep from crying in front her babies? she ate those waffles like she'd never eaten before, and asked for another when she was done. because she wanted more food and we'd only dosed her for those two waffles we had to give her another shot of insulin before she had her third waffle.

after the nurse went over the equipment, math,and dosages with us we got to spend time with a dietitian. we were given a ton of information on carb counting(yuck) and food weighing and measuring.

this is a big job, a "family disease" is what they call it. we are all going have to work together like we never have. all this new information on keeping my daughter's life stable, it is scary and intimidating. it is too much information...

Rowland, NC

rowland, nc

that's the family "plantation" farm house up in the left hand corner before the wrap around porch was built. my great grandfather is in that photo somewhere as a child, those are the edens, my family. it is the house where great grandmother gave birth, where my mom spent many days running around working and playing. they grew cotton, tabacco, and now corn. distant relatives still own it. so, that's juni by some tabacco, and bee by an outhouse at the family church.

centenary church has an outhouse:) it also houses the edens' family graveyard. my grandmother is buried here, my great grandparents, my great-great grandparents. there is popi's namesake, alexander!

i have always loved this church. it was where i always wanted to get married there, that never happened. the interior is a beautiful dark stained wood panels everywhere, ceiling, walls. it is gorgeous. there popi is sitting in the edens' section of the church. that last picture is beila with aunt bj and uncle clarence. they hold the keys to the church, it's on the national historical registry, sweet!

Laurinburg, NC

laurinburg, north carolina

laurinburg, this is where my aunt bj and uncle clarence live. my uncle is my deceased grandmother's younger brother. he always has a contagious smile on his face that makes me feel warm. they also have some of the best blueberry bushes on the planet! every time we visit we pick blueberries, and it couldn't have been timed more perfectly, we ran out of blueberries for popi about then.

my north carolina family just happens to be huge duke university fans. there is duke stuff everywhere you walk, or walk on. go blue devils! my mom was born at duke university hospital, and i sport a large blue devil on my Christmas tree ever year that belonged to my memaw.

my aunt bj is a wonderful cook, one of my favorite things about traveling in the carolinas is eating the down home food. my favorite restaurant is in rowland near laurinburg, it is called pinks, but they were not open:( popi had her first corn cob. all my kids think that gumming on corn cobs is the best think in the world, you dare not take it away.

we spent the night there with them and went to rowland the next day.

Diabetes?

we got the urine test back today and it was positive for sugar. what that means is that bee is almost positively diabetic. we will hear more on monday.
i am very familiar with diabetes, my father is type 2. type 1 is different, and i needed to know more about it, so i started googling things about juvenile diabetes, if i wasn't worried before, i am most certainly now. thanks internet. i read about parents not letting their diabetic child out of their sight because they might have an "episode." helicopter parents that watch their kid's every move in fear it might be their last. there was calorie counting, carb counting, liver failure, and other horrifying things to have swirling around my mind. the worst thing i read was that diabetes was the 6th cause of death in the united states, and that when my baby dies, it will probably be from diabetes.
just so you know, if you don't know, type 1 diabetes is catagorized as an auto immune disease. your body attacking itself. you are born with a genetic predisposition for it. in life there are "triggers" that put the disease on go. beila must have had some "trigger" recently. it does not rear it's head because someone eats too much sugar, or that they are overweight, or because they caught it from someone. your pancreas makes insulin which lets sugar or energy into your cells, without insulin your body just pees out that sugar or energy. that is why diabetics take insulin every day.
even with the worry i now have, i am not going to let it change us, change beila. our diets might change, but i will not deny her her life that is rightly hers. we eat pretty well here, now it is only going to get better. the hardest part is going to be cutting out all of bee's everyday favorites, like milk and bananas, they will be in our diets, but not every day. hopefully, i will have some better news soon:)

doctor visit

as i watched beila's eyes flutter close and her skin turn from pink to shades of whites and purples that matched the dress she was wearing, it took all the mommy energy i had to not scream and cry for my baby. i was so thankful that my ex husband had taken off work to come be with us for this doctors appointment, i know i couldn't have held my five year old's body tight and rigid as the nice woman stuck my baby's arm with a needle and drew her precious life's blood out. the Greek was out in the waiting room with popi and juni while parks and i had the parental duty to help out with getting the blood sample. all i could do was watch them lay my ghostly beila out on the bench seat and try to wake her up. i was told to hold her knees up and sway them side to side to help the blood flow. parks held her head and helped her drink the apple juice that was brought to her. i sat there and swayed, and swayed those knees while i watched for any signs of rosiness to come back to my baby's cheeks and lips. her eyes were rolling all around and no color came creeping back, and we still had a urine sample to collect. my heart was laying out on this bench seat and i was helpless to do anything.

we were testing for diabetes. the past three weeks or so bee has been incredibly and insatiably thirsty. therefore there has been frequent urination with the frequent water drinking. she also seemed super skinny to me, but i'm skinny, why wouldn't my kids be too? she had been complaining of tummy aches and headaches that never seemed to have an initiation to them as well. it was the water drinking that got me concerned, but it was my dad that voiced the concern on our road trip. i told him i would make a doctor's appointment.

brandy, my pediatrician's nurse who is the best ever, called me back with the blood test results. bee's blood sugar level was at 175. the normal levels range from 70-110, so yup, elevated blood sugar, and that was at a fast. we have to go to a pediatric endocrinologist on monday at a fast for more tests. more blood tests. my poor baby girl. they have not diagnosed her with diabetes yet, and they might not. of course i hope she doesn't have the big D, but it sure is looking like it might be that. i am so thankful that if this is my child's auto immune disease, that it is diabetes we will be dealing with and not a debilitating auto immune like my mom has, dermatomyocytis. i am grateful i am not on here talking about cancer, so absolutely grateful.

well, things could be worse, but all in all life is pretty darn good if i say so myself. i try not to let things get to me, but i am after all human. i yell, i cry, i scream, i think about rude things to say to people who perturb me. so i will go to bed now and leave you with the words of bette milder, "got no diamonds, got no wealth, i got no men, but i've got my health!"

48 Weeks

oh my little pop-tart. what a great little girl. i have three of the best little girls in the whole entire world! i was nervous about having a third child but what was i thinking?! she turned 11 months old this past week. one more month till her first birthday, crazy! let's see, things little miss Kalliope does...today she started "crawling." when i say crawl i mean scoot with one leg in normal crawling stance, the other tucked under her. i will totally get a video. my mom and i will be working on this in hopes of correcting her crawl. i'm going to miss having a non-mobile baby. i put her down in the hall and found her a couple seconds later in the girls' room, gotta go find the baby gates. still no teeth, but she had her first cucumber today, and while gardening she stole one of my bell peppers and chewed up half of it. i also gave her one of the girl's favorite snacks, roasted seaweed, which she liked. on our trip she tried deviled eggs, three bean salad, creamed corn, and corn on the cob. amazing what she can eat without teeth.

Raleigh, NC

Raleigh

looking back now, i see i have practically no pictures of raleigh and my aunt kakie and uncle fred. i was so excited to go see them and spend time with them. my aunt kakie is my deceased grandmother's sister, i love listening and looking at her because she reminds me of my memaw. she had a trunk full of old dolls she graciously gave the girls. juni and bee got small baby dolls with a wardrobe of clothes and popi got the life size baby. it was so much fun to watch her play with the popi sized baby! we had such a great visit with them, i wish we could have spent more time there.
p.s. you might know i am a huge david sedaris fan. i love having a small north carolina connection with him. so while driving in my mom's home state, mr sedaris' adopted state, i saw his brother's hardwood floor business van, sedaris hardwood floors. why this excited me to no end, i am still not sure why....

Asheville, NC 2

my parent's favorite place to eat in asheville is early girl eatery. now it is my favorite. my kids have been sporting early girl tshirts for years now, so it is nice to have finally eaten there. it the kind of restaurant i would like to have one day, local ingredients, and simple, good food.

i was excited to see that they had local mead on the menu. i have been hearing some about this resurgence of mead and was eager to try some. i got my chance! i liked it, i like honey, i like wine...what was not to like? for dinner i had grilled pimento cheese with tomatoes and spinach, with a side of pickled cucumbers, heaven. we ate breakfast there too, it was that good!

Asheville, NC

Biltmore Estate

this was my second trip to the biltmore. i was here with my mom a long long time ago...
the girls and i were here all day. the tour of the house was fun and long, and i was surprised the girls enjoyed themselves as much as i did. we also went to the barn/farm area. we fed animals, played on farm equipment, played old outdoor games, and walked a lot.

we also went to the winery where we had a "wine tasting." okay, it was grape juice. for lunch we ate at the old stables turned buffet. it was really beautiful, up in the rolling hills of the estate, open windows, good food, good company. we had a blast!

Nashville, Tennessee

Loveless Cafe

right outside of nashville is a restaurant i have been wanting to eat at for awhile, Loveless Cafe. it did not let me down! they give you a plate of fluffy, soft biscuits with butter and jam to eat while waiting for food (the blackberry jam is to die for). i got fried chicken, fried green tomatoes and creamed corn and it was all so good. juni had chicken and dumplin's with mac and cheese and green beans. my parents got sampler plates that were fabulous! i would weigh 400 lbs if i lived near there!

Memphis, Tennessee

first stop: memphis

we stayed at an elvis themed hotel:) super fun and the girls loved swimming in the guitar shaped pool. after singing along with paul simon all morning my mom, the girls and i went to graceland early so the line was not too long. we each got head phones for the guided tour and we all loved every second of it.

it was so cute, juni wrote "we miss you elvis, love juniper".

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity-Jig

we are so happy to be home. we got back thursday night, sorry i didn't tell you earlier...i needed to wind down. now for the details:)

Where in the World is the Pokey Little Puppy

asheville, north carolina

well, we are in florence, South Carolina! we just had a great visit with mi tio y tia, aunt sandie and uncle jose, their 2 kids, cousin samantha and carla, and my grandpa's wife, nan sara. my aunt and uncle live in beautiful spain, so it is always a treat to get to visit with them. we have been having a whirlwind tour with my mom and dad, a total blast! we've been to memphis, nashville, asheville, raleigh, laurinburg, rowland, south of the border, now here in florence! and we ain't done yet, folks!
i do wish my Greek were here with us, i miss him so much, so do the girls. but we get to face time on the ipad so we can see him and love him and give kisses through the interwebs. thank you steve jobs. (you won't hear me say that often;)
ya'll have a good night now, ya hear?