i just insulted myself.
i made myself feel like a dog turd.
i made myself feel like a bad mommi, without anyone else's help.
i was sitting here, cuddling with my baby bear, watching her smile and coo. then she started her babbling at me, because she loves me. i then opened my mouth and heard myself coo back "i will always stop everything to listen to you talk." "i will always stop everything to listen to you talk." those words stung like a fire after i heard them exit my mouth. i am a mother of three girls, three precious girls i should always drop everything for. i frequently don't hear the cry's of "mommi? mommi? moooommmiiiiiii?" when i do answer i usually get a question, whether it be a joke, "mommi? knock-knock?" "who's there?" "mommi and popi." "mommi and popi who?" "mommi, popi i love you.", or a life quandary of a seven year old, "mommi? what happens to the worms when they go to heaven?" these questions are magical to me, but how often do i ignore them? how often do i wish those questions to go away? the truth is a lot. ouch. how do i wish something that wonderful away? i need to work on it. their tiny little voices are melodic like raindrops. they think i know everything, they ask and ask and ask, they seek my knowledge. they try to entertain me with stories and homemade jokes that make no sense whatsoever except to let me know that i am loved. i am the luckiest woman on the face of the planet, and all i have to do to be reminded of that is to open my ears. who knew it would be so hard.
